Well I logged in today to Douche my mom, because lets face it, I've been dying too....that doesn't sound right....but anyways...I got this anonymous douche submission and thought it was too good to wait. But before I post it I would like to answer a question I received a few days ago concerning my "Mother Nature" Douche post, wondering "How exactly do you go about douching mother nature?" as far as the specifics go in actual douching...I gotta be honest with you the first thing that came to me was China. So that's the answer I'm sticking with.
In the vein of quotes that don't make sense, I would like to douche "stoopid ppl" who comment on blogs. Here are some totally 'warm vinegar wash' comments I came across today....
**** "He's too cute to be gay."
As if cute and gay were somehow interrelated... ???
**** The next one is actually an amalgamation of more than one comment, basically telling the blog writer to step off, stop hating and just LEAVE [Actress X] ALONE! And, that pictures don't make you dating someone or a lesbian... These were in response to the bloggers post about [Actress X] and who she may or may not currently be dating.
You know, because it hurts celebrities when you blog that while they have been seen out and about with someone they may or may not be dating one another. Is this celebrity a lesbian? I don't know/care, and am still just baffled as to how these people made the leap from 'this may be her boyfriend' to 'she's not a lesbian...' Wait, sorry it was more like: 'SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN EITHER!!!! WAAH!' My condolences to [Actress X] - her fans are idiots.
**** "...ya’ll need 2 hop off hah diyck so much yah don’ need 2 kno hah like that means yuh just 2 damn nosey"
WTF? This was part of one of those aforementioned comments written by one of the aforementioned idiots. Overreact much? But that's not what I wanted to douche on... People who write phonetically are stoopid. Hey, why use an actual language to communicate when you can just make one up right? And as if the phonetics alone aren't stupid enough apparently this person speaks with an accent... and I guess thinks [Actress X] has a penis???? I don't know!
NOTE: I am not douching ALL blog commenter's, only the stupid ones... if you found yourself getting defensive and upset by this post... or found parts of it hard to read because it was thought out, punctuated, used capital letters, etc... I'm afraid you may be one of the stupid ones. Sorry you're a douche.
-Douche Anony
THANKS FOR THE SUBMISSION!
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